Come back and stay.

Sorry for not posting too much. Even if I want to, I’ve been going through a very rough phase so I really can’t think of any good thing. If you don’t want to read something personal, you may skip this post. I don’t mind. I just needed to rant but I just realized that I don’t have that much courage to trust anyone right now. I’m too weak and easy to break. You see, my boyfriend and I broke up 8 months ago. I thought I already moved on. Yesterday, I accidentally typed the first letter of his name in the search box in facebook. I saw his picture. He’s with a new girl. My hands went cold and tears kept coming. I can’t think straight. I wanted to shout. My knees were shaking. Last December, he told me he still loves me but not as much as he did before. I asked him about his new girl, he told me he loves her. They were together since January. I got hurt. January was our anniversary too.

As much as I want to be happy for them, I can’t. I thought I’ve already forgotten this feeling. I don’t know why it’s still here. Why does it hurt so much? Why do I have to carry this pain? I wish I’m his girl. I wish I’m his girl again.. Where and how do I start moving on? I hope I have all the answers.